5 Ways a Divorced Parent Can Have a Fresh New Year

Carlsbad, CA – As a divorced parent, the holidays were tough for you: you scrapped enough money together to buy gifts for your family, and you stayed strong for your child, ensuring they had the best holiday, despite your divorce.

A new year should be a great time for new beginnings, right? But for many people, January can be more stressful than the past November and December because any stress caused by the holidays is held off until the new year.

Here are a few ways you as a parent can take care of your child and yourself to ensure a great new start in 2018.

Divorced Parents New Year
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  1. Connect with Your Kids– Your children may have postponed their own feelings in lieu of the holidays. Take the time now to connect with them and be a source of security during these trying times.
    1. A note for fathers with daughters- Many daughters have severed relationships with their fathers, so it is especially important for you to give them the attention and love they need.

      The causes of the damaged relationship may be a loss of custody (only 10-15% of fathers get joint custody of their daughters), lack of mutual activities or interests, or the tendency of daughters spending more time with their mothers during adolescence.

    2. Volunteer- Find a way that you and your child can give back to the community by volunteering at a food kitchen, running a 5K for a charity, or raking leaves for a neighbor.

      Find a charity that matches your child’s age group and interests within your area.

    3. Go on a Date- Take your child to an arcade, miniature golf course, or bowling alley. Find an activity that you can both have in common and have room to talk. Your child will value the one-on-one time.
  2. Invest in Yourself – The better you take care of yourself, the better you can take care of your kid.
    1. Pursue an Education– If you dreamed of going after a degree, then plan for one now. In 2011, over 3.5 million single parents attended a university in the U.S.

      Plan for expenses such as childcare. Research scholarships available for single parents and colleges that offer online classes that are flexible with your schedule.

    2. A New Hobby- Whether you have always wanted to paint or join a basketball league, cultivate a new interest and discover new friends.
    3. Find a Confidant- Instead of keeping any of the difficult feelings you may be facing as a divorced parent to yourself, find someone to talk to- whether it be a friend, counselor, or psychologist.

      Do not make your child your confidant. You want your child to be able to come to you when they need someone to talk to, and you need to promote a healthy relationship between your child and your ex.

  3. Keep Peace with Your Spouse – The best way to promote a healthy relationship between your child and your ex is by cultivating a healthy relationship with them yourself.
    1. Social Media- Treat all tweets, Facebook posts, and texts as eternal. Anything you say online is visible to your child. Also, anything negative you say can be brought up against you later.
    2. Forgive- If you need to, forgive your spouse. Any anger you hold against your ex will only hold you back.
  4. Avoid Financial Pitfalls
    1. A Note for Women- On average, a woman’s income will fall by more than a fifth after a divorce. Make sure you are in a career that has room for advancement and one that can properly provide for you and your family with your new adjusted income.
    2. Find Help- Especially if you were not the primary breadwinner prior to your divorce, find someone to help create your budget and balance your checkbook.
  5. Plan a Vacation- A vacation is a great opportunity for you and your child to plan together and enjoy together.
    1. Pick a Date Together- Put a vacation on the calendar with your child. The more they can be involved in the decisions, the more they will be excited about the trip.

      On a budget? Give your child a few options you know you can afford and let them pick.

    2. Plan Wisely- Avoid communication errors with your spouse and let them know in plenty of time of your vacation plans.
    3. Double check your court order- How many vacation days you have with your child? Do you have your child during Christmas or summer break? Make sure you are following your court order precisely, and contact a lawyer if you have any questions.

If you’re in the San Diego area and have questions about post-judgment enforcement or modification, schedule a free consultation with John Griffith at Griffith, Young, and Lass. He and his team can provide expert legal advice through any difficulty you may face.

© 2018 Millionairium and Griffith, Young & Lass. Authorization to post is granted, with the stipulation that Millionairium and Griffith, Young & Lass are credited as sole source. Linking to other sites from this document is strictly prohibited, with the exception of herein imbedded links.

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