Advice for Lady Gaga, Sofia Vergara & Other Alpha Females
Lady Gaga and Sofia Vergara’s sizeable income may speak volumes about their successful careers, but it also could be an omen for their recent engagements to actors Taylor Kinney and Joe Manganiello, respectively.
You see, Gaga’s and Vergara’s fiancés have more in common than their good looks and career choices- they both make significantly less than their leading ladies.
While some men may think Kinney and Manganiello have hit the jackpot, studies have found that men are more likely to cheat, become depressed or seek divorce when their wives make more than them.
But don’t throw in your towels just yet, Gaga and Vergara. We have found a helpful book catered to the unique dynamic presented by your relationships: When She Makes More: 10 Rules for Breadwinning Women, by Farnoosh Torabi.
Torabi’s firsthand experience as a breadwinning, or Alpha, female have allowed her to delve deep into how income imbalances affect relationships, and how to overcome common pitfalls.
Ten Rules for Breadwinning Women
The following are summaries of Torabi’s 10 essential rules for finding fulfillment and success at work and at home.
- Face the facts- You make more and he makes less, and because of that dynamic, your relationship is more susceptible to infidelity, burnout and divorce. Couples have to recognize the pros and cons of their unique situation to effectively deal with the psychological costs.
- Rewrite the fairytale – Society may have taught you that women marry a Prince Charming, but you have to rewrite your fairytale and change your expectations to achieve a healthy, fulfilling relationship.
- Level the financial playing field – Divide or combine finances to suit your family’s unique dynamic. Financial chores should be divided according to each partner’s strengths.
- Hack the hypotheticals – As the saying goes, when you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Plan for retirement, make care arrangements for your aging parents, and sign a prenup or a postnup – not because you believe or want your marriage to fail, but because you have considered all of the “what ifs.” Heidi Klum planned for the unthinkable and it paid off.
- Cater to the male brain – Level the emotional playing field. Don’t deny the psychological toll that not being the breadwinner can have on a man. Husbands, be open about your feelings, so negative emotions don’t build up.
- Buy yourself a wife – Before you find yourself resenting your spouse because you are the breadwinner and expected to perform household duties, Torabi suggests you either change your expectations or hire a housekeeper.
- Break the glass ceiling (but carry a shield) – Don’t lose sight of your career. Accept the challenge presented by double standards, and learn to compartmentalize different facets of your life so you can be in the moment no matter your current role.
- Plan parenthood – Plan for the challenges child rearing presents and assign roles according to each partner’s skills and strengths.
- Grow a thicker skin – You will likely encounter someone who has a problem with your nontraditional role. Ignore them and focus on what works for your family – that’s the only thing that matters.
- Remember to breathe – Relax and do whatever you have to do to achieve happiness.
If you are a breadwinning female considering a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement, call our office today for a free consultation with an experienced San Diego divorce attorney: 858-345-1720.