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How to Avoid Common Pitfalls of Second Marriages

Sixty percent of second marriages will end in divorce, according to statistics presented by the National Stepfamily Resource Center. While it’s true that second marriages present unique challenges, don’t consider your love doomed just yet. We have some tips that will help you keep your second marriage healthy.

It’s important to first consider that this gloomy statistic isn’t merely related to the fact that it is marriage number two.

“There is more at play that puts these couples at high risk for divorce,” says California divorce attorney John Griffith. “It’s that no one goes into a first marriage planning for it to end in divorce. You want to believe it will last a lifetime, so you make forever decisions. You have children, buy a home together and put your career on hold or forgo school to raise a family. When those forever plans dissipate, things get complicated. Second marriages aren’t necessarily doomed, some are just complicated.”

On top of all of complicated details, you have experienced a failed marriage. You may be jaded. And that’s where the fight to protect your second marriage starts.

Tips For Making Your Second Marriage Last

  • Ask yourself what went wrong the first time- As jaded as you may be, you have to identify went wrong in your first marriage, and take responsibility for your part. What are you going to do to avoid past mistakes? Stop drinking? Seek financial advisement for your poor spending habits? Hold your spouse accountable?
  • Be prepared- A second marriage isn’t all rainbows and butterflies for remarried and blended families. Expect some loyalty issues and tension during holidays, birthdays, and marriages of adult children. It’s nothing you can’t get through, especially when you are prepared to take it in stride.
  • Sign a prenuptial agreement –Prenuptial agreements are signed prior to marriage and can be used to protect your assets and interests in the case of divorce. Already married? No worries. Postnuptial agreements are entered into following marriage and provide similar protection.
  • Read The 5 Love LanguagesCommunication breakdown has ended many relationships. The 5 Love Languages is a book written by relationship counselor Dr. Gary Chapman who claims there are five universal love languages. As much as you may think you are communicating your love and commitment to your spouse, if you aren’t speaking their love language, they may not see or feel it, according to Chapman. Discover your love language and your spouse’s by taking this free quiz.
  • Take breaks- Your children are important, but so is the health of your marriage. Try to set aside time for date nights or a couples vacation so you can enjoy your spouse – guilt free.
  • Talk to a marriage counselor – Marriage counselors aren’t just for broken relationships. Regular counseling can help keep communication lines clear and the relationship on track.

           “I know plenty of couples in healthy relationships who go to periodic counseling sessions to keep their relationship healthy,” says Griffith.

  • Be steadfast- Even lasting first marriages aren’t immune to struggles that must be fought through. Make up your mind now that you will remain steadfast through minor struggles in this relationship.

No one wants to see a first, second or third marriage end in divorce. We are here to help couples protect their assets through carefully written agreements, and mediation. We are also experienced in navigating the complexity of divorce when a marriage has run its course. Call today to speak with an experienced Encinitas divorce attorney.


Meet Your Dedicated San Diego Family Attorneys
Family Attorney John N. Griffith, CFLS
Family Attorney John N. Griffith, CFLS

Family Attorney, John N. Griffith, CFLS

John Griffith has practiced exclusively in the area of family law since 2009. John is a Certified Family Law Specialist certified as an expert in the area of family law by the California Board of Legal Specialization.


Family Attorney, Catie E. Young, ESQ.
Family Attorney, Catie E. Young, ESQ.

Family Attorney, Catie E. Young, ESQ.

San Diego family lawyer Catie Young has a wide range of litigation experience. She has worked in civil litigation. She has successfully represented clients in many areas of family law including child support, child custody, divorce and domestic violence. She has a unique approach to each child custody case, so clients of Griffith, Young & Lass tend to gravitate toward her in these cases.


Family Attorney Amy J. Lass, Esq.
Family Attorney Amy J. Lass, Esq.

Family Attorney, Amy J. Lass, Esq.

Amy Lass was born in New York and raised in San Diego, California. Amy graduated from Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo in 2003 with a B.S. in Economics with a concentration in Enterprise Accounting and went on to earn her law degree from Thomas Jefferson School of Law and graduated cum laude in 2006. Amy takes a practical and cost considerate approach to the process while striving to balance the emotional needs and objectives of her clients.


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The Typical Divorce Process in California
Discovery of Assets & Obligations (1-3 months)
1 Complaint for Divorce Filed Start of litigation
2 Complaint is Served Varies, but usually shortly after the complaint is filed
3 Answer to Complaint Due 30 days from the date of service
4 Mediation Anytime, but usually after initial discovery
5 Temporary Hearing Usually early in the process
6 Late Case Evaluation / Judicial Hosted Settlement Conference Usually near the end of the case
7 Trial (If Needed) The goal is to settle, but if your case goes to trial, it could take months after the start of litigation.
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I am beyond grateful for the entire staff at Griffith, Young, and Lass. I don't even call myself a client anymore, they are my friends that protected my family and fought with me, side by side.-Erik H., San Diego