Refusing to compromise
Divorce cases rarely, if ever, settle with either party being happy with the end result or “winning” the case. In order for a divorce case to have any chance at settlement both parties must compromise. Often what may be of primary interest to one party may not be as important to the other. The key to settlement is separating what you want from what you are willing to live with considering each issue.
Sharing details of the divorce with children
The worst thing that you can do to your children during a divorce is to get them involved in the dispute. The number one goal of parents going through a divorce should always be to ensure that they are sheltering the children from the negative aspects of the divorce and helping them in any way they need to work through this very difficult transition in their lives.
Allowing emotions to dictate decision making
Making decisions regarding your divorce based on your feelings toward your spouse is a mistake that is difficult to avoid. Feelings are natural and healthy—you have no control over them. You do have control over how you choose to deal with those feelings. The decisions that you make will influence the complexity and cost of your divorce case. Our best advice is to follow the advice of your divorce lawyer. Your divorce lawyer is emotionally detached from your relationship with your spouse and can see the issues from an unbiased perspective. Listen to your lawyer and try your best to put emotions aside.
Having unrealistic expectations
Having realistic expectations regarding the potential outcome of issues related to your divorce is essential to making the process bearable. This starts with your divorce lawyer giving you a proper assessment of your case. Unrealistic expectations lead to both an inability to settle the case and disappointment that the expected result is not achieved.
Violating court orders
Court orders are made to be followed and California family court judges do not take kindly to orders being violated. Whether you agree with an order or not you must follow the order unless and until it is changed by the court. If you have an issue complying with an order for child support or child custody then let your attorney know the issue so that corrective action can be taken.