It is now the dreaded time to tell friends, family, and acquaintances the news of your divorce and it is understandable to find yourself perplexed on how to do this with beauty and grace. Beauty? Grace? Do these seem like foreign words in the land of divorce proceedings? Most likely. The question is: where to start? Or better yet, who to tell, when to tell, and the list goes on.
There are numerous ways of sharing the news to anyone who cares about the new direction life is heading. Here are some tips to make telling others about your current situation.
Face to Face
This is the old fashioned in the moment kind of way that divorcing couples find themselves in with family members and close friends. It is important that both parties speak to each other about how they want to handle sharing the news and to be on the same page. Contemplate practicing this as one would if they were delivering a speech. Use note cards for practice, still, remember this does not have to be formal and will leave room for improv. Just be sure to be prepared and allow both parties a chance to speak.
It is likely loved ones will have a strong reaction, or on the contrary, they might have seen this coming for a while. Remember that this is a decision that has been made and stand firm in said decision when sharing the news of the divorce.
A text message is a great way to quickly send out the word of the divorce. It is a “rip the band-aid” of kind of a method. Draft out the message in the notes app in your phone and proofread to assure it delivers the clear and concise message you wish it to be.
For example, if one were to send a text message saying, “We have been thinking it is not working anymore and we feel like a divorce is where we are headed, we just wanted to give you a heads up.” The issue with said text message is that a recipient of the message will believe there is room to negotiate with both parties to change their mind and if this is truly a divorce announcement text message, the message must be firm.
Here is an example of a firm message, “We are saddened to deliver this news, although, we know this is the best decision for both us: We have filed for divorce and will do our best to keep the proceedings as positive as possible. We are looking forward to this next chapter in our lives as we are certain it will be greatly beneficial for us and for our loved ones. We want to thank you for your support during our marriage and we ask for your understanding at this time.”
Divorce Announcement Greeting Cards
This may seem like a silly idea to some; however, a greeting card is a way to make such heavy news a bit more light-hearted. There are greeting card companies that specialize in making these announcements and these are like announcements for just about anything (i.e. the birth of a baby, graduation, engagement, etc.).
Zazzle and Greeting Card Universe are both online websites known for their niche divorce announcements. The greeting can be straight to the point, it can feature some humor, either way, it is a good route to spread the word. Be ready for phone calls, text messages, and quite possibly snail mail for those who wish to respond.
Email has been around far longer than text messaging and is a proper method to get the point across. Like the text message option, this is a way both parties can come up with a statement that communicates what is to come and allows the audience they wish to share said news to soak in the information.
If it is the wish for both parties to not receive a reply, be sure to include in the bottom of the email, “Please do not reply”. Of course, you can customize the “do not reply” message you see fit. This will deliver the message that this is not up for discussion and simply you wish to share the news of the divorce.
Sharing anything on social media can hold a large amount of weight and cause stress and anxiety. Social media enables users to create and share content or to participate in social networking.
Popular social media sites include Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. This is a quick way to get the message out to all subscribers who follow your page. Writing out a statement in your notes app on your phone and posting the photo is a method to let those in your social network know that you and your former spouse are divorcing.
Keep in mind, this is your life and you have come to this decision with your partner to share this news and know that the opinions of others don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. If you do not wish for comments on your social media announcement, we recommend turning off the comments on the post.
No matter which method you choose to share the news of your divorce, we hope you can do it in a matter that honors the marriage you once had and is as positive and peaceful as possible.