You've begun the process of getting a divorce. On top of all the legal complexities that stem from divorce, you also have the emotional aspect of dealing with as well. One of the hardest tasks you may face during the process is sharing the news with loved ones. Getting a divorce can be both liberating and emotionally draining, and sharing this change with trusted friends and family is an important step in the process of moving forward.
Our Carlsbad family lawyers share some tips for you to keep in mind when you announce your divorce.
4 Things to Consider Before Talking About Your Divorce
Divorce is a deeply private matter, and honestly is nobody else's business except you, your spouse, and your children. That being said, it's in people's nature to be curious. Your friends and family will know something is up when you stop attending family gatherings or events together or stop sharing anything about your spouse on social media.
You may not be able to stop your loved ones from discussing your divorce and having an opinion on it, but prepping for difficult questions in advance allows you to have better control over the narrative of your divorce. What is the best way to do this? Here are some things to consider before you share the news with your inner circle.
Who Do You Want to Share the News With?
Deciding who you want to share the news with is the first step. Remember: You don't owe anyone an explanation for your choices. A good place to start is thinking of people you feel comfortable having intimate conversations with. It might be easier to start by telling your closest friends and family members — the people you really trust. Then, once you're more comfortable, you can branch out and tell more people or not; the decision is up to you!
There are so many questions to ask yourself before you jump into just telling people about your divorce. This should be something you carefully consider. Because once you tell one person, the news could start to spread, which is when gossiping and lies start to occur. You don't want that added stress during this time.
What Are You Going to Say?
Next, decide what you want to say. You don't have to go into all the details of why your marriage is ending, but you should have a general story that explains why you're getting divorced. Be prepared for people to ask questions. If you are not ready to answer them quite yet, you can answer by saying you are doing okay, but you would like some privacy for the time being.
Remember, you get to decide what details you share about your personal life.
How Do You Want to Tell People?
Finally, you'll need to make a decision about how you want to share the news. Do you want to call your loved ones to have the conversation? Would you prefer to do it in person? If so, what location — at home or in a public space? Or maybe you just want to get it all out on the table at once and make a social media post.
Should You Share Your Divorce Social Media?
A modern way to announce your divorce is through social media. While it might seem daunting to share the news of your divorce with all of your friends and family, it could also be beneficial to rip the metaphorical bandaid off. In publicly sharing news of your divorce, you get to be the firsthand source of information, keeping you in control of the narrative.
You can also take a more subtle approach and change your relationship status to 'single' or 'divorced.' It's not as direct as a formal announcement post, but it does at least get the message across. If people have questions, they always have the option to reach out to you.
You Are In Control
At the end of the day, you are the one who gets to decide how you talk about your divorce. There's never a right or wrong answer for the best way to announce a divorce, but it does help to prepare ahead of time for those conversations. People will always talk and have an opinion, but ultimately you have the power in the situation.