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Dealing with the Stress of Divorce

The events leading up to the decision to get a divorce are hard enough.  Now you are facing the divorce itself. You have been inundated with what comes with the process and requirements of obtaining a divorce in California. All of this while also having to process the emotions that come with separating from someone that you once loved and maybe still do. This can be a stressful and trying time for even the most resolved. It is important that you take a step back, confirm that what you are doing is the right decision, and move forward knowing in a healthy manner.  Here are five suggestions to help you survive the stress of divorce:

1. Exercise and eat right

Physical fitness and healthy eating habits are probably the best way to combat any form of stress. If you exercised before the divorce then keep it up. If you didn’t then start. Feeling good about yourself is the first step toward coming out of this crisis healthy.

2. Have a plan

Your life is changing and it is scary. The fear of the unknown can be terrifying– especially at the end of a long-term relationship during which you and your spouse depended on one another emotionally and financially. Accepting that the relationship is over also means accepting that you will have to become independent. It is rarely the case that the child and/or spousal support ordered by the court is sufficient for both parties to continue in the same lifestyle as they did during the marriage. You need to plan accordingly and responsibly for the reality the future holds.

3. Do your best and let be what will be

You can’t possibly control every aspect of what is going on in your life. Things will inevitably not go your way and probably more than once. All you can do is your best and let go of what you cannot control. Keep in mind that there is an end to this mess and a light at the end of the tunnel.

4. Let go of expectations

Expectations often lead to disappointment. Often times parties to a divorce have unrealistic expectations as to what the outcome will be. Family court rulings are anything but consistent with each case being unique and full of variables–not the least of which is the judge assigned to the case.  Let go of preconceived notions. If you hired the right divorce lawyer, he or she will be able to help guide your expectations within a reasonable range. However, not even the most experienced family attorney can predict an outcome.

5. Make time for fun

This is most important. If you do not make time for yourself during your divorce then you can expect to be constantly reminded of the problems that you face. Give yourself a chance to be distracted from life. Go to a movie, pick up a hobby, and if your faith allows, even go on a date or two.