Life After Love: Tips For Dating Post Divorce
“Do you believe in life after love? I can feel something inside me say, I really don’t think you’re strong enough, no. Do you believe in life after love?”
Cher posed the appropriate question back in the day when she belted out the lyrics to “Believe”. Do you believe in life after love? The answer is… yes (a million times yes). We pose the question; do you believe in a love life after divorce? Once again, a million times yes.
If you are divorced or separated, you have every right to move on. Once you have healed from your past relationship, you can consider what will be most beneficial for your next romantic relationship.
Keep in mind statistics show in the U.S., 50 percent of first marriages end in divorce and alarmingly 67 percent of second marriages end in divorce (Psychology Today). This statistic must be shared because it is important to know that if you fall into the divorce category, it is a crowded category to be in and you are not alone. It is crucial to note the higher percentage of the divorce rate in second marriages.
We are here to help; these tips are for you:
- Wait until your divorce or separation is final before you start dating: It can feel amazing in the moment to find a replacement, but keep in mind it is important to put an end to your current relationship. Let that ink dry on your divorce papers!
- Ask yourself why you are dating and if it is for the right reasons: Are you dating again because you are happy with yourself? Or on the contrary, are you dating again because your former spouse is dating someone? Be sure you are dating again because you feel 100 percent ready.
- Be honest about your past: To put this simply, let your new potential significant other know that you are divorced. You do not have to divulge all of the messy details but do share possible triggers in order to make your new relationship more positive.
- Take it slow: Be patient and make sure you are dating someone you are compatible with. Ask yourself if you moved to fast in your last relationship and if the answer is yes, you will hopefully think again on this one and slow your roll.
- Know your priorities: Do not get lost or caught up in the excitement of a new relationship. If you are a parent, your priority will be to effectively co-parent with your former spouse. Make sure you know you are prioritizing appropriately.
- Believe in yourself: Know your worth and understand what you bring to the table. Do not speak negatively about yourself to yourself (inner dialogue) or to others. Just because you are divorced, does not mean you failed. This is your fresh start and it is time to believe in YOU!
- Create a Map: Grab a pen and paper and write out what you want your next relationship to look like and what you want it to turn into. Write out qualities you are looking for in a partner and start to imagine what that would be like. Do not write out what you do NOT want, keep this map positive vibes only.
Do you have any tips on dating after divorce? More importantly, do you have any favorite break up ballads? We would love to hear from you.