Protecting Your Children During Divorce
Divorce and Legal Separations are notoriously hard on everyone involved. As couples sort out the issues and difficulties surrounding their dissolution, their children are many times pulled to the forefront, resulting in unhealthy psychological damages. Clearly no parent intends on harming their children in any way, so what steps can be taken in order to lessen the negative impacts a divorce can have? San Diego child custody lawyer, Amy Lass offers the following advice:
1. Establish an early agreement with your ex that your child’s mental and physical health is and will be both of your primary concerns throughout the process of your separation. In addition, frequently reaffirm your agreement as time passes. If you are both on the same page, if in only this single regard, your child will benefit greatly.
2. Be as mature as possible and avoid fighting with your ex. This can be easier said than done, but at the very least, make a point of never fighting in front of or around your child. To this same token, do your best never to speak negatively about your ex around your child. Children are obviously less mature than you are and therefore commonly miss-associate your anger and intentions, potentially creating an unhealthy hostility towards you and/or your ex.
3. Tell them about the divorce/separation together. Plan your talk ahead of time and stay on topic. You should both reassure them that they are in no way the cause of your split and that nothing will change beyond the separated living arrangements.
4. Stick to your word. Go out of your way to keep your child’s standards of living and routines as normal as possible. Keeping your word also means repeating the promises you previously subscribed to (See #3: it’s not their fault).
5. Stay in your child’s life as frequently and as equally as possible. In most cases, a visitation schedule is put in place, in which case this should be taken as simply, “show up when you are scheduled to, no matter what.” Show up even in the midst of dramatic contrariety between you and your ex. Your dedication will give your child confidence in your commitment to them.
6. Consider counseling for your child, yourself, or both independently or together. Professional help can go a long way in coping with change and emotional conditions. Counselors make psychological health their business and are well versed in accomplishing it.
7. Finally, take care of yourself. Your own well-being has a strong subconscious effect on that of your child. If you are healthy and confident, it will rub off!
If you or someone you know needs advice or representation in an upcoming or pending child custody case, call the experienced family lawyers of Griffith, Young & Lass for a free consultation today.
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